Embracing Compliments

Often compliments are countered with a self-deprecating comment.

“You’re pretty.”
“Thanks but my hair wouldn’t fix right and my eyes are puffy.”

“That thing you made is great!”
“Well I could’ve done this and that to make it better.”

Compliments make us self-conscious.  We cringe inside and feel uncomfortable when someone offers us a simple compliment. Instantly we list our perceived faults.  Even if we are proud of it we cannot just say thank you because then it may seem vain or prideful.

Vain: adj. 1.excessively proud of or concerned about one’s own appearance, qualities, achievements, etc.; conceited.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of an accomplishment.  Something you worked hard for.  Something that did and it turned out well.  Or just feeling pretty because for some reason that day your makeup went on right, your hair fixed perfectly, or whatever.  It is not vanity to be proud of yourself.  It’s good to have some pride.  So unless you’re conceited and excessive about it then you’re good.

The words “Thank you” are not boastful.  They are a simple acceptance.  An acknowledging that the compliment was received and appreciated.  The detractive statement does not do any good.  It does what any detractive statement is meant to do, it detracts.  It devalues the compliment.  It belittles whatever was complimented. It diminishes your confidence both perceived and real.

Women tend to do this more than men.  While I’m sure there are men out there that feel the same, for women it is unconsciously taught to us, ingrained in us.  Again there are exceptions to the rule I am speaking in relative terms.

Teaching little girls to be demure when given a compliment must stop.  We start by stop doing it ourselves.  Appreciate the compliments.  This undervaluing ourselves needs to stop.   We are worthy of compliments.  We are valuable. What we do is valuable.

Whoever you are, no matter what gender you are, you are are deserving of some accolades.  Embrace them.

Find your joy and laissez les bons temps rouler!



6 thoughts on “Embracing Compliments

  1. It’s really hard, though. But, yeah, we need to work on this shit.

    So, Missy, I think you’re beautiful, hilarious and exceedingly kind. And I love what you’re doing with this blog. I think it’s important and necessary.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree. I am learning how to take compliments. Thais love to pay them and recieve them so every day I get ‘you are beautiful’ wherever I go, and they are genuine, so I say thank you and smile. After you learn to receive compliments, the world becomes a better place.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s awesome! And I agree it really does make a difference in your perspective when you learn to accept compliments. I’m still not perfect at it. Old habits die hard. But I am, and always will be, a work in progress. 😀


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